I've taken the plunge...

Second day in and I'm already 4,467 words in. I don't expect to keep up this pace, although I wouldn't complain if I did. I know there will soon, hopefully not tomorrow, days where 200 words will take me an entire day. It's happened before.

You can catch me at Nano under the name NC Murphy or my novel's title Anywhere But Here.

Good luck to all of you joining me on this quest, or should I say insane adventure?

I can't wake up today, three cups of coffee, a shower and still, I want to crawl under the covers and close my eyes for the night...hello it's not even six in the evening. I've felt like this all day. This haze of sleepiness has clouded my vision for my day. I went to bed with a post-it-note of what scene I wanted to work on in the morning, nope, not a word has been written, ugh!!!

I did manage to enroll myslef in an on line writing course. It's free, so that's good but it's also twelve hours long, not so good. It's bound to cut into my writing time. I guess I can't complain though, if I turn out to be a better writer because of it then, it will be worth the time and effort.

That's all for now, thankgoodness Mondays only come once a week. What is it with Mondays that make me drag around my body like an old wet sock?

UGH! Margaret needs to be more YA and the plot is not teen enough either. How did that happen? I don't see myself as an adult writer. My other novels are YA, so I have a choice finish what I started, 120 pages in, or start from the beginning and stay true to my career path, hmmm...

I'll start over thank you very much.

I'd rather fix one MS than change my whole outlook.

Ok, enough with the pity-party, back to work.

Changed the title too.

Hello Margaret, it fits with the new plot better.

The heat here in West Palm is finally subsiding a bit and so that means *sighs with heavy regrett* I'll be getting back to the whole walking and exercise thing outside of the gym. I can't see spending the money and gas to go to the gym when walking is far better: for me, my bank account and the environment. Oh, well it was fun while it lasted. I know my son will be excited he loves when we go for walks. Yeah, I can see why. He gets to sit under the shade of his jogging stroller and eat cereal while mommy sweats her behind off.

I could use a little behind off at the moment so it will be worth the effort.

On the writing side of my life, I've done pretty well with the new novel. I'm at that terrible middle stage, where it seems to sag and drag. The other day I wanted to give up and toss the whole mess. This first draft is probably my worst ever, it is going to need a major overhaul when I'm done, I can just feel it. There are days when I want to quit with it and start something new but I know it will passI just need to stick with it. There are days where I can't seem to write more than a sentence or two.

This morning however I wrote another 1,700 words in less than two hours (minus the interruptions of from my three-year-old, juice boxes and a peanut butter sandwich)
But I was encouraged by te progress and hope it wasn't a fluke.

It's Saturday morning. The sun is high and blazing, the kids are happy and fed and all I can think of is writing...but the pool looks so inviting too. Of course, the kidos would vote for the pool. With August coming to a close I feel the heat of my personal deadline on my back. I've never been successful with one of my deadlines in the past, but this time I really want to say I did it. I feel like it's practice for when I have a more serious, pending and demanding dealines. I feel torn, pool-work, what to do?

It's the middle, well end of the middle of August and school has just started. But it feels like summer, not fall. In the fall, I am most productive and have a serious routine, which I stick to no matter what, really I love a strong routine, it helps to balance out my crazy-busy life.


So today, being the second day of school I tried my best to jump start my tyipcal routine, nope, it didn't take.

It's already 1:30 and I am only checking e-mails, blogs and other various sites, that I normally check in the morning. I did everything backwards today. Hopefully, by tomorrow I can be back to my old self, writing first thing in the morning, checking all of my internet business in the morning and back to spending my time with baby boy after his naps. Oh and squeeze in a work out and lunch in between. Ah, tomorrow!

I'm inching closer nd closer to actually understanding what is going on in my own book. *sighs* that is a true relief, I thought I would never figure it out. I know how I want it to end but the reasons behind the story, that little bit of knowledge I was lacking, until today. It felt like a light blub going off inside my head, like one of those old cartoons. So now I need to plug away, words at a time until I reach the end. Back to work.

I'm in one of those moods, I want to cut off all of my hair. I haven't had a proper haircut in over a year, it's to the middle of my back, and very unhealthy looking. It's so sad too. I use to have such gorgeous hair, but then I had this whole crazy idea of being different and I tried to go blond. *sighs* Oh, what a huge mistake that was! I'll spare you the hysterics. I only left the color, or lack of color, in it for a week. I died it back brown, but by then the damage was done and my hair hasn't forgiven me since.

Now, I sit here wanting to pick up the phone and get it hacked off for bad behavior.

Maybe, if I get it cut up to my shoulders, it will behave and look healthier too.

Hmmm, not sure if I'm ready for such a drastic change...I might want to sit with this idea for a day or two, or just pick up the car keys and do it!


Where are my dam keys!

I have been living lately as if I'm a professional writer. I have a writing schedule,and I try to write something everyday. I read somewhere that a professional writer, writes even when he/she doesn't feel like writing. That was the case for me today. I swear I felt like my brain needed a laxative.

The words were stuck and the flow felt forced. I did my best to push through and managed somehow to squeeze out 1,300 words, but who knows how much of that will be deleted tomorrow morning?

This book started out so fluid and easy and now, 54 pages in, I feel I've it a wall. So what now, climb over or under? I have to get past this wall. I want to finish this book by the end of August. Does anyone have a sledge hammer?

So today is Monday, and yes I was suppose to wake up at 6 a.m. to start my new writing plan. Yeah, that didn't exactly work out, like not at all. I woke up at 9 a.m. to starving and overly demanding kidos, and a husband that wanted some coffee, ( yes the man can run a five star restaurant but when it come to making coffee at home, well he claims he doesn't know how,hmmm) and now I'm starting to pull lunch together for the whole clan, running a load of dishes and laundry...while holding unto the idea of getting 2000 words done at some point today.

Brother, I don't think the authors that get up at 5 workout then start their writing at 6 have little kids...or maybe I just stuck at manging my time.

It's so hard for me to wake up early right now, because it's still summer and my husband has been working nights, which means he doesn't get home until 1 a.m., and then he starts to talk about his day. Once I'm awake, it's very hard for me to fall back asleep.

So in short, I need a new plan, one that is more realistic for my lifestyle, maybe I shouldn't worry about a real schedule until school starts, in two weeks.

Hold on...that's the solution.

About once a year, (oh, who am I kidding, it happens more times than I can count) I get this panic in my chest; a feeling like my insides are going to come pounding out, splitting open my rib cage, pouring with blood and guts exposing my exploding frantic heart! I had that feeling again last night.

It usually starts with me looking through my notes and goals for the upcoming fall. For whatever reason, fall is my more productive time of year, perhaps it's because the kids are back in school, and I figure if their working then I should be too. Only, this causes a lot of anxious moments of, what-if's and worry.


I worry that my ultimate best still won't be good enough, that another fall will pass without a "good enough" Ms is shop. I worry that Penelope will never be sold--that would break my heart forever--and that Gosserville remain unknown by all.


I fear that I'll have to someday, say enough, and get a real job, because let's face it finances are tight and my husband could use a real contributor, not a wife that keeps promising to help out, once her books are sold!! Yeah, the promises have been far and few between lately, I'm more realistic now, I only use the words hope and try my best now.

And I still do, maybe that's why the worry feels so real and urgent, because I still hold on to that dam hope, and I haven't given up trying and praying. I do hope that some day, one day soon, I too will be a published and paid author!!!


Oh, I feel that annoying pounding coming on again...

Now that summer is coming to an end I need to buckle down and get back on track with my work. If my goal, (as usual) is to get published this year, well then I kind of need to finish my book first.

At the moment, Hello and Goodbye needs some structure work. I'm thinking of making it first peron, I believe Margret Ann, would be a much stronger character if she were doing all the talking and since the book is currently third person, told from her view point it shouldn't be too challenging to change it out; fingers crossed that statement proves true.

Stolen is giving me a lot of trouble, the middle of the plot is alluding me and so is the ending, I feel at a stand still with that one. I think I need to just take a quiet after noon and work out all the kinks then write it without worrying about the edits.


A huge problem I'm facing is this nagging voice that is growing louder everyday.
I tend to want to edit as I write, I'm paying way too close attention to my tense issues, and spelling as before a hurdle. For whatever reason, I don't have much trust in myself right now as a writer, a lot of self doubt has me questioning my abilities. It's not fun to fight with yourself, you never know who's winning!

summer mode to me is no fun, my kids however are having a blast. We do activities everyday, I need a serious break. I haven't written in two weeks, which is driving me to want to pull out my hair. My work is so important to me, I wish my family could understand that and respect it more. I always wonder what it will be like once I'm published (by the way I hope wil happen this year) will they respect it then, they will have no choice I suppose. I'll have deadlines and there is always the extra incentive of a paycheck, more money means more fun times...true.

It's the in-between, trying my ultimate best to be a great mom, keep a spotless house, make my husband happy, and leave some part of the day for me, other than exercise. I don't know if I will ever be able to achieve everything on my list.

It seems to me that when I take away the exercise I can squeeze in some writing, but I rarely have time for both. Maybe, I need to start waking up earlier, and not be such a night owl. That will not be an easy change, but if it helps me accomplish my goal then it will be well worth it in the end.

I read about some authors that wake up everyday at 5, now that is just insane to me, but I may be able to pull off 6 or 6:30 to start. Ok, monday that's my goal, wake up at 6 and write for an hour or two, if I can start doing that everyday I think I will be happier with my writing. Fingers crossed, that I don't hit the snooze button.

I usually love summer.

Everyday feels like Saturday, I have no real place to be and the pool is always open...what's not to love. But this summer, it feels like it's lasting forever. Maybe, because i have so much I want to accomplish. I need my kids in school to write. When they are home, I cannot get much done in terms of writing. They are constantly asking me to take them outside, watch a movie with them and just be with them...believe me, I love to hang with my kids but right now my brain is burning with ideas for my current stories.


I feel so torn right now.

I wish I could find some sort of balance with it all, make everyone happy...including myself.

why is it that kids these days, even with all of their crap, can never find something to do for more than five minutes?!

I swear, how on earth am I going to survive a whole summer of this constant need of activity? My wallet and my mind cannot take it another day longer.


Yesterday, went to the park, the pool, did a craft, watched a movie, made some popcorn, did another craft, played a board game, went to blockbuster, went out for ice cream, order a pizza, watched another movie, played the Wii, played DS, read a book, then bed!!!!

Today, a whole nother day of the same, only this time, real treat, I'm watching my neighbors boys for three hours!! UGH!

I have a book to finish another to edit and some research of agents, I do have a life somewhere buried under the endless needs and wants of my kids and their friends, HELP!

I've been working on a new project and so far it's coming a long quickly and easily. I'm already head over heels for my new MC. But recently I've hit a bit of a lull, only because I don't know if I should continue with my death idea for Margret Ann.


Question:

Is it legal to use factual events in your fiction?


I found an article from 1958, I wanted to use it, (twist a few things), but the date, location and event are perfect for my cause. So is it legal to use it or do I have to change the name of the location and date too?

I'm back at work today. It was a spinner of a week. Last day of school and big girls graduation.

But now it's over.

Summer is my favorite, sleeping in, pool all day then some writing while the kids sleep off their bliss of exhaustion. Love it--could live it all year long!

The book, gave me the worst headache I've ever had. I took three advil and a nap, but still it wouldn't go away. It could possibly be my pms but I hate that excuse or blame (depends who's saying it) I was working on my book when it blasted me, there's my logic.

I'm better today. I've written another five pages since my last post, not much I know. I've been doing a lot of research trying to find actual stories that could relate to my characters, make them seem more real, at least to me.

I found that I've been on the right track with Steven's death, it's actually posted on many websites and in news articles, so I won't need to alter or change it. I felt so proud of myself, I wasn't sure if it could possibly happen like it did.

AS for Margret Ann (MC) her death needs to be horrific, it'll explain to the readers so much about why she is the way she is, and who she is, or was, before her death. I think I found it, but I want to do some more research first.

I'm refusing to outline this one, it's typically my MO to have a full detailed outline but this book feels so free, and has taken on a life of it's own. I'm having fun listening to the characters, not knowing what's about to happen next. I sound crazy.

On that note back to work I go, I want to get 2,000 words done today, work out Margret demise and finish with Steven talking about his last years. Then it will be Samantha's turn, that will be a real painful to write and hopefully it will be equally emotional to read.

That is the working title of my brand new WIP. Dear sweet Penelope is sitting in my drawer waiting to be heard of once again at a later date. At the advice of some friends and family members I have, not given up, but taken a break from Gosserville. Book two and three are also resting comfortably on their mini vacations.

However, my new project has taken off like a lightening bolt.

I woke up two days ago at 4:30 in the am, (if any of you read this you know by now mornings are not my thing) and wrote 10 pages and formed the title. It felt so good, so freeing to write something new. My MC is eighteen, a lot different style than Miss 14 year old Penelope.

Any-who, just thought I would drop a line and start a track sheet of my progress.

May 31st, 4,378 words (total for the day)
June 1st, 3, 231 words
Can't wait to see what pours out of me tomorrow.

By this rate my first draft will be done in about two weeks, I'm estimated about 75,000 words, short and sweet for this one...yeah!

I'm finally getting over the rejections.

I thought I had it done, going to be sold, getting the great agent and best deal possible,I was wrong. Back to the black hole of edits.

Third person still seems the better fit, it's the grammar and tense issues that need addressing. Never been good when it comes to the tech. of writing. I am more the creative side of writing, but I've been reading some books and a lot of ideas have been worming their way through my thick skull. Hopefully, fingers and toes crossed in a painful tribute, I will be submitting by July. Please God, let it happen this time, if not it may be the end of the road for dear Penelope.

I woke up and I swear I had not idea it was Sunday.

I make pancakes (chocolate chip or blueberry) on Sundays, I read the paper while drinking my yummy coffee, I don't get dressed till noon and I watch a movie with the kids on the sofa. This is my Sunday routine--you don't mess with routine.


But...I woke up: made my bed, showered, dressed, brushed my teeth...I thought it was Saturday. My house cleaning, laundry, errand day...NOPE! My daughter woke up, rubbing her eyes--watching in disbelief as I stripped my bed and yelled for her to do the same. "But it's Sunday mom." She whined.

I seriously threw up in my mouth. I dropped like a bag of stones on the corner of my bed and wanted to cry. "I missed my Sunday." I whispered or weeped not sure now.

How did this happen?

It was the whirlwind of visitors from out of town and the amazing amount of social events that followed. I'm NOT complaining about having friends but I am complaining that my Sunday was stolen from me.


I look forward to this day of complete leisure all week, Because god knows the next day that follows my day of total relaxation is MONDAY--UGh, not a fan of Monday.

So, here I am back in my Pjs, trying to piece together what's left of my wonderful,restful Sunday, about to have pancakes and watch a flick with the kidos, oh, and sip my on yummy coffee. Have a great Sunday everyone.

Ps. and not think about my edits all day...well, we'll see.